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::metallic:: / Monday, November 20, 2006


i don't know..i'm not crying, maybe it's because i forced the tears back in. but i know, deep inside, i can feel something stirring. something deep and really moving my emotions. yeah, alot of things been happening to me. friends, boys [rather, hims], and graduation. i don't know, i'll be missing you lots. all.

really big problems with friends. girls will always be girls..looking into every tiny little detail, being petty and such. you know, sometimes i don't wish to be one. i wish to be nobody. just like someone just floating around [yeah, whatever ghost] and watching people do stuff. and just gaining emotions and knowledge like that. selfishness, posessiveness. that's why you see so many problems in school because of friends. girl friends. excuseme, not joined up together. they just one friend, to themselves. total posessiveness. selfish and jealous when others hang out with this super duper bestest greatest friend. i don't know. FRIENDS are just FRIENDS. they hang out together. if you want one all to yourself. it isn't called friendship, it's called selfishness.

and that two hims. whatever, i don't care what you call me. fickle-minded, two-timer. urgh. whatever, okay. because now, i've REALLY REALLY decided that i'm not going to like anyone until jc. yeah, sure i'll miss SOME boys but hello? miss doesn't mean like. and besides, i'll not become les. when i go sec..sigh. i don't know about this two hims. i mean, the first one [obviously not going to specify, however obvious] i really really like him. okay and yeah, abscence makes the heart grow fonder. but i don't know, he's been hurting me okay. or rather his presence his tone is hurting me. so no, i'm not going to like him. and then there's him2. err, this one, obviously won't like me. okay but well, he's (i think) just a really good guy friend. that's all. so the tears on both of them once shed will not be cried again.

graduation. i've never known it would affect me so bad. i'm not going to talk about it. it'll just make it flow again. just the thought of them leaving, how the boys made gep a part. how the freaks took gep into a whole new level. hah! as you reminise on those people who would be just memories soon. as you take a bus to a whole new place, where you would discover and explore.

where that vicious cycle would repeat itself again.



/ihopped at
8:40 PM

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